If you ask, then follow

Dear God,

Many times we ask you for answers or guidance, but then we don't want to accept it. I know it's because it's not what we wanted to here. Over the past month, I've been mentally and emotionally struggling. So much has happened within the last 6 months. I've had a pretty good, fairly easy life. Lately, it's just been one thing after another. Twice you have told me what I need to do. I haven't obeyed, yet. The second answer came today. Why am I so stubborn? I will follow through. I have to.

Being a Christian can be a lonely road no matter how much family or friends you may have. Thank you for those people you bring into my life. They are those who take the effort to help me even if they don't have the answers. So I'm not so lonely but sometimes I sure do feel like it. Part of it is because I've never needed so much help. I'm always the one who's helping other people. I've never had to ask for this kind of help. Yes, I'm stubborn as a mule. But I'm also just plain out scared even though I know it will make me a better wife, mother, daughter, sister, employee, citizen and Christian. Thank you for never leaving me even if my humanly self will sometimes wonder if you're really there. You are always there!

Many people may look at me and my life and not ever think that anything is hard for me. I've worked hard to be where I'm at. It was easy. It's not easy. I do have my downs along with my ups. It could be worst, but right now it is tough. I'm grateful but there are times when I'm a little lost or confused.

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Dear God,

It's been awhile since I've posted anything. I've slacked on my reading, too, but not as much as my postings. It's been a very stressful, crazy couple of weeks. It's taking time for me to adjust to this new medication and daylight savings. Uggh, it's not fun. But thank you for getting me through it all.

I hope that people are getting ready for you to come back. I don't know what other signs you gotta give them: Japan's earthquake & tsunami, the protesting all over the world, the crazier things that people are doing that makes them end up in jail or prison or dead, suicides, young people dying. We tend to think we're going to die young but there's no promise for tomorrow. I pray for those who aren't ready and those who don't know how to get ready.

Thank you for this beautiful weather. It feels so good to be able to go outside and play. Valerie loves it!

Selfish People

Dear God,

Why are we such selfish people? I can be so selfish sometimes. I've experienced other people so selfish. We care more about ourselves. We will argue and fight over what we think is right and what should be. We forget to think about how self-less you were when you let your Son die on the cross for us. You gave up your Son for us. We don't deserve you. I'm so grateful.

I pray for those who are going through problems that they have themselves caused because they are so selfish to give up less of what they want. I pray for those who are so selfish that they forget about others around them and how it affects those around them.

James 3:16- For where envying and strife [is], there [is] confusion and every evil work.

Your Mercy Saved Me

Dear God,

I missed my blogging yesterday, but I did read two chapters of Matthew. Anyway, you know that. I was listening to Casting Crowns "Mercy" on the way home. I was almost home but when I got to: "Your mercy saved me, mercy made me whole. Your mercy found me, called me as your own" I couldn't help but cry. As tears rolled down my face, I became so grateful for your mercy. I also was saddened by the fact that Derek didn't accept that mercy. If only you called him as your own, I know he would still be here.

It's still so hard. Thinking about the depression I've been going through myself, I have never gotten so low that I wanted to end my own life. I know that is only because of your mercy. Your hand is always there to pick me back up. You do hold me close. And for that, I am forever grateful.

Thank you for my friends and family who have prayed for me, patted me on the back, hugged me, cried with me, loved me, and comforted me. It means so much to me. They may never really know how much it means, especially if they've never gone through anything like I have so intensely in the past several months. I've never come out and said it but if they read my blogs, they know. Continue to watch over us, Lord. Protect us from the ones with Antichrist hearts.

Don't Understand It

Dear God,

Today has been a tough day. This morning I woke up late because my alarm clock (cellphone) was in the living room. This afternoon I found out my cousin committed suicide. In the midst of all this, I am so thankful that I chose you and that you chose me.

I don't understand why he did what he did. I partially know the events and the things that were going on in his life that lead up to it. However, I just still can't fathom how someone could leave behind his whole entire family, which included his 3 year old daughter. How is grandma going to explain that daddy will never come back? How is she going to explain it when she gets older that daddy killed himself?

As I look back, the times we had a kids were such precious times. My favorite memories will always be getting together during holidays and birthdays and playing football and hide n seek in the dark. We were all so innocent back then. We had no worries, no responsibilities. As we got older, we drifted. We started our own lives and drifted apart. I hate that it happened but it did. We can't change that now, not with him anyway. But we can change it with the ones who are still. I hope that with all of this that the young people of the world start to realize how important family should be to them. I hope that they start searching for You.

I ask that you give traveling mercies to some of the family that is driving to Texas on Wednesday. I ask that you show yourself to them, at least one of them. I hope they see you and take the offer.

Souls for Our Labor (Matthew 13:24-58)

Dear God,

Thank you for your Word. Last night's devotions included parables and what they meant. I heard many times from others that you are not a god of confusion. Some things are not meant for us to know. Some things are obvious. Some things take waiting, studying, and searching for us to know what you are trying to tell us. Of course, there are things that aren't meant to be known.

The parables were about the lost, the saved, hell, and heaven. We live in a world where not everyone is a Christian. We have to know how to go about living our daily lives with lost people around us. That's what your Word and your teachings are for. We can be in the World but we shouldn't live like the World.

This morning I pray for the Shirey's, who are singing at the church today, our Preacher and his family, and our church family. I ask that you give souls for our labor. Bless those who continue to do your will. Oh and bless the hands who prepare lunch. Mmmm...lol.

Caring is better than Judging

Dear God,

As I was on my way home work and picking up Valerie from the grandparents, Beth Moore came on the radio. She was talking about the night before when she went to dinner with her family. She said she saw two women at the bar of the restaurant scantily dressed. What I noticed about this story was the fact that Beth Moore did make judgments about the two women. She could've ranted on and on about how barely dressed they were. She didn't talk about how they are bad influences to young girls.

What she realized was that she could've easily been one of them. She could be in a compromising situation. She was concerned for them. She cared for them. She had godly love for them. She made an observation about them but didn't judge them. She didn't say it but at that moment I'm sure she said a little prayer for them.

I learned that a true Christian who has compassion for others shouldn't criticize. Yes, everyone has an opinion but sometimes, at that moment, our opinions are not important. At that moment, instead of making a judgment and assumptions about someone, we should pray for them. She should be more concerned about their souls then focusing on what they are doing wrong. Try and help them. Sometimes help just means saying a prayer.

Looking Forward

Dear God,

I am physically tired and aching today. Spiritually, I'm doing pretty good. Thank you for helping me stay focused and committed. This week I've really been on it. I'm getting up early enough to exercise and get to work 15 minutes earlier than usual. I'm studying your Word everyday even if it's one verse, passage, or chapter. I will need your support to continue this. I know myself and I know that I can slack off after several weeks if I don't stay focused.

I ask for your hand and your work in our church. I've noticed the change in the atmosphere. Attitudes have changed. Those who want more have moved on to another church. Those who don't like what they here, leave and/or complain. Those who have been faithful and want the church to grow have become discouraged. There's a lot of talk and not enough doing for You. My family is not going anywhere. I think it's important to support our preacher who strives to do your Will everyday. He studies, learns, and teaches in hopes of greater, more positive movement in and outside of our church. I know that our church is capable of so much more. Show me what more I can do to help.

The Faith of the Canaanite Woman (Matthew 15:21-28)

Dear God,

Thank you for the message Conterrance delivered tonight. Bless him and his family. Matthew 15:21-28 is a story about a Canaanite Woman who went to Jesus to get help for her demon-possessed daughter. She continued to ask for help until Jesus granted her wish.

Of course I know that not everyone who is persistent will get what they want. This woman asked for something that was not for herself. She asked for him to get rid of a demon. She had faith that he could do it and she wouldn't let it up until he did.

Not many people have that mustard seed size faith. I know that most of the time I don't. But I know that the next time I go through a rough time, I'll remember this passage. I won't let up and I'll continue loving, praising, and worshiping you.

Everything is Not All Good

Dear God,

Many people think that being a Christian means everything is all good all the time. WRONG! If anything, Christians face more attacks than a non-Christian. On the other hand, life is not that much harder. It's just different. I can face what lies ahead because I have you on my side. It doesn't mean that I don't face problems or that I have the answer to everything. It just means I can face the problems and get past them. It also means sometimes I get an answer and sometimes I don't need an answer.

This week started off pretty tough. I'm motivated to continue growing in every aspect of my life. However, I still struggle with a bout of human loneliness and depression. I know I will get past this with time. Thank you for your continued support. When it seems no one else is around, you are. I couldn't ask for a better friend and Father.