Rest for the Weary

Matthew 11:28-30 says, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"

 The Lord makes it so easy for us to lean on him. If it weren't for Him, I would not be able to handle everything that is going on right now. I've worked so hard to keep from crashing down. I wish I could sometimes slow down life. It's moving about 1,000 mph and I'm at 100. I have gotten quite tired and weary. I know that all I gotta do is keep pushing on. In 2 and a half weeks I will be in Phoenix, AZ for the first time and I will walk and accept my Master's degree from Grand Canyon University. Nate and I are staying a several days to enjoy Phoenix. Valerie will stay with her grandparents. It will be my time to chill.

Last week, Nate's Papa JD was admitted into the hospital because he had trouble breathing. He has congestive heart failure and COPD. As of today, he's in a great nursing home. He's not doing well enough. Nate's Nana, JD's wife, has Alzheimer's. She refused to eat and slept all day. Aunt Gail finally had call the ambulance because Nana would not get up or eat. At first, the doctor said her kidney was failing her. Now, they said because she didn't eat and use the bathroom enough, she only has a urinary tract infection and dehydration. I've had to help with this situation.

On top of the issue above, work has been busy. I've been working with our IT guy to get our computer system working properly. It's been frustrating, especially when other people don't understand and they ask questions like "Why can't I have wireless? Why can't I get on the internet on my desktop? Why can't I remote in from home when I can do it from my phone?" I've tried to stay calm and explain as best I could. If I didn't know, then they got a plain, "I don't know." Most of the time, I just wanted to scream, "Get over yourself! I can't answer your questions. Leave me alone. It will be fixed when it gets fixed." But I know that's not the best way to deal with the situation.

Our Spring Jubilee at church started Wednesday night. I got to go Wednesday and Friday. They were great services and the Lord showed up. However, on Friday, I couldn't concentrate to the preacher because I had to tend to Valerie who wanted to get down a play. I wasn't going in the nursery to babysit my child and not hear the message. There was no one scheduled for the nursery (we've had no nursery director for 2 weeks now) so she had to sit in the sanctuary with me until the preacher's daughter to her to the nursery and stayed with her. I was about to get up and just go home. Thank God for Morgan. She's a sweetheart. Then Valerie got sick yesterday and threw up all over the floor today. I don't know if it's allergies or a cold. Dealing with a sick child can be so tiring. Seeing her go through it, breaks a mother's heart.

It's been rough this past month or so. The Lord has helped me through this storm. The storm's not over but he'll continue to be with me. I can never give up on Him because he'll always be by my side. He's given me the best gift a person could get, the blood of his son, Jesus Christ, to wash away my sins. I'm looking forward to the rest I will get in a couple of weeks, even if it's only for a short time. It will be enough to tackle the next thing(s) that comes along.

I Know Him

I was driving home today, listening to Tammy Parnell's new solo CD. One of my favorites songs on there is her rendition of Mandisa's "Not Guilty." That song is so powerful. It makes me cry every time I hear it. God has been so good to me. I'm glad I know him. I'm grateful he knows me, loves me, and gave his life for me. Without Jesus Christ, my life would be harder to deal with it. I don't know how the unsaved do it.

My challenge: Do you know Him? If you don't, you better find out how to know Him. If you do know Him, have you loved him enough to give your whole life to Him? Many Christians get saved but then do nothing for Him. Have you done anything for Him? We can be so selfish sometimes that a football game is too important to go to church for or your fears keep you from witnessing to a stranger. Whatever it may be that keeps you from giving everything to Him, it's not worth it. He gave his Son. Would you give yours?

Verse 1:
I stand accused, there's a list a mile long
Of all my sins, of everything that I've done wrong
I'm so ashamed, there's nowhere left for me to hide
This is the day, I must answer for my life
My fate is in the Judges hands,
But then he turns to me and says

Chorus:
I know you, I love you
I gave my life, to save you
Love paid the price for mercy
My verdict, not guilty

Verse 2:
How can it be, I cannot begin to comprehend
What kind of Grace would take the place for all my sins
I stand in awe, now that I have been set free
And the tears well up, as I look at that Cross
'Cause it should've been me
My fate was in the nail scarred hands,
He stretched them out for me and said...

Chorus:
I know you, I love you
I gave my life, to save you
Love paid the price, for Mercy
My verdict, not guilty

Bridge:
I'm falling on my knees to thank You
With everything I am, I praise You
So grateful for the words I heard you say

Chorus:
I know you, I love you
I gave my life...
I know you, I love you
I gave my life, just to save you
Love paid the price, for Mercy
My verdict is, not guilty
Love paid the price, for Mercy
My verdict, not guilty ... not guilty

Everyone Goes Through Something

The Women's Conference yesterday at church was such a blessing. Big thank you to the singers, speakers, planners, sound crew, video crew, cooks, and servers. Everything was wonderful. It was what I needed after all I've been through within the past 6 months.

I had to grab Tammy Parnell's new solo CD. If you don't know who she is, check out her group's website soulharvestonline.net.

My first post of my journey kinda rambled a little bit. I want to clarify something. Nothing you go through is too big for God. However, it may be too big for you to handle all by yourself. That's why he brings certain people into our lives to help us through whatever trials we go through. I'm so grateful for all the people he's brought into my life just these past couple of months. They have truly helped me on my journey to being normal, again. Those people were intentionally put into my life by my Lord. He listened when I told him I couldn't do this alone. Grace and mercy means so much more to me today than it ever has.

Our main speaker was Debbie Sobeskie, from Hannah's Hope Ministries. Hannah was a faithful young woman who died of cancer. She didn't let her hope die. All she wanted was to be able to help just one person. To read more about Hannah's story and learn more about Hannah's Hope Ministries, check out www.hannashopeministries.org.

This morning, I ask for your prayers for Nate (my husband) and his family. His papa is in the hospital. He is living his last days. He's had cancer for a long time. His nana is not taking it well. In addition to dealing with a sick husband, she isn't well herself. She has alzheimer's. This is a very hard time for the family. We do have hope, though. We know that he will be in Heaven when he passes. He was in and out last night because of the medication but all he wanted to do was make jokes. He and Hannah have that in common. They never let their spirits and their joy for life die. We could all learn something from people like them.

Journey to normal, again

Instead of writing a letter to God, I've decided to just write to whoever wants to read. I can talk and pray to God whenever and wherever. This blog is for me and for anyone who gets any help or encouragement out of it. This is part of my therapy back to feeling normal, again, normal for me.

In the past 6 months I've gone through a lot of life changes. This time, I wasn't able to ignore the stress or frustration. It caught up to me and flew by me. I felt like I couldn't keep up with how fast life was moving. It was like I was on the outside watching myself just moving along. It wasn't until a month or so ago that I realized how it was affecting my life: work and home. I have been experiencing stress, frustration, loneliness, depression; pretty much a lot of emotions all at the same time. I needed help that I wasn't getting.

As a Christian, I'm not naive. I pray, go to church, listen to sermons, do daily devotions, and whatever else devoted Christians do. But I wasn't getting what I needed. The Lord has done so much for me in my life but I needed help from a human. It reminds me of the illustration about the man who was stranded on the island. He believed and had faith that the Lord would get him off the island. So God sent a plane, a boat, and something else (I can't remember). The man refused all three. He asked "Lord, why didn't you save me." The Lord answered, " I tried. You refused all three times I tried." Moral: Don't expect things to happen out of thin air. You ask God for help. You gotta take action on your part, too. Yes, God performs miracles but don't expect it every time you have a problem. So, in my case, I've sought help from professionals.

This is just the start of my journey back to being me, again. It was hard at first. I've always been the one to help others. I've always been able to keep my own emotions under control. This time I couldn't. So much had happened. My job got busier. My baby turned into a busy body 1 year old. My husband was on third shift. I became sick about once a month when before I wasn't hardly sick at all. Then, one of the worst of all things happened. My cousin committed suicide. We weren't extremely close but close enough that his death was the first death I'd experience of someone so close to me.

Through all this, God continues to be so good. Without Him, I probably would've gone into deep depression, not having anything to do with anybody. He's brought so many godly people into my life. I'm so grateful. He helped me start this journey. I'll make sure He is who leads me.