I became somewhat discouraged after 2 interviews and 1 email response that didn't work out. The second interview made making a decision hard. Although, I wasn't offered the job, I was close to it. After the initial interview, I had 2 smaller follow-up interviews via telephone. After much prayer and fighting with myself, I realized that it wasn't the job for me. 1) I couldn't find peace with accepting the job if it were offered to me. As I've been told, God is not a god of confusion. 2) The Director kept asking me the same questions over and over. Was she even listening to me? In turn, was I even listening to God? Lastly, the salary she was offering wasn't even close to other organizations comparable to hers. For the position and my qualifications, it should've paid more. I don't have a Bachelors and a Masters degree for no reason.
What the Lord told me next was not exactly what I wanted to hear. I have a job; I'm not desperate for one. So I kept searching and still am while keeping a lookout for that one job I'm willing to leave my current job for. I haven't found one yet, not even worth sending my resume to. I can't settle on something that seems right. In the meantime, work has been busy. I took on training a new co-worker and decided to take on new responsibilities. Whether or not I want to be there, I do the job to my best ability. In the end, my integrity is my own. With the workload keeping me busy, there was no idle time for me to sit there and feel sorry for myself or complain about how boring my job was. The Lord knew what I needed.
Although, I don't understand it, he's kept me at my current job. He wants me to be there longer than I want to be there. There's a reason for it and I know it's to make me a stronger Christian. I'm His child and I should be doing for Him. My work environment is full of many different people with many different personalities, skills and beliefs. I went from an environment surrounded by Christians to this job where it wasn't that. No matter how I felt, I was to act like a Christian should. I can't say I've been perfect but I've done as he's asked. Today, he blessed me. My director decided to give me a bonus that not everyone was getting and it was the first time they've ever given a bonus to someone at my level. I got a lot of compliments on my performance but through all that, all I heard was "Well done!" from the Lord above. It feels good to know that your boss is pleased with you, but when the Lord is pleased, it's something far more. And on a human standpoint, I have a new-found outlook on my boss. I've noticed he's worked hard at righting the wrongs and making improvements. I know he's not a Christian and for me that's even more encouraging-my faith and my God has made a difference in his life whether he knows it or not. I've planted my seed.
I'm a pretty tolerable person and pretty patient. So when I asked God to help me be more patient, I surely had no clue what that meant. It's been tough but I've reached a point of patience that I've never had.
