Forgive me for I have not been the best that I can be. That probably sounds silly to whoever reads this but it's the best way I can say it. Anyway...work has been blah. That's the only way I can describe it. I got to a point where I was unmotivated. I was overwhelmed with work but I don't think it was the fact that there was too much work, although some days or even weeks seemed like their was too much work. I realized today that I let myself down by becoming complacent. I didn't just let myself down, though. I let down those above me. Many times, I'm my own worst enemy. But thank you for your messengers.
In tonight's reading, two verses stuck out to me. Matthew 11: 10, "For this is he, of whom it is written. Behold, I send my messenger before thy face, which shall prepare thy way before them." Matthew 11:15, "He that hath ears to hear, let him hear." You sent two wonderful, supportive people my way. As hard as I can be on myself, it's not motivation. I can't do everything alone. I didn't realize how much of a burden I put on myself. I can't blame anyone else but I can seek help from others. I needed the constructive criticism. I needed someone to give it to me and I needed to sit and listen to it.
I hate that it got to this point but I'm not perfect. I can't be perfect. I shouldn't expect myself to be perfect. Failure is okay if I learn from it because then it's not failure. It's more like getting lost when you decide to wander off the path and whether it's because you sent someone or you knocked some sense into me, I find my way back. Well I've found my way and I'm motivated to go further down my path with much attentiveness.
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