Where is God's Army?

Who is the most respected and guarded human? For us Americans, it's the President. As an elected official, he gets paid well (maybe not as well as some), takes nice vacations, is respected (for the most part), and is highly protected by secret service agents. He has a hard job, of course. Now take that apply it to our spiritual lives.

For us Christians, what about our Lord and Savior? Do we pay Him well? Are we tithing like we should? Are we giving Him our time like we should? Do we support and help our church, His church, like we should? Do we love one another like He commands us to do? Do we protect his Word, His church, and his people like we should? The answer, in general, is No.

Imagine what it was like for Joseph and Mary to be responsible for the safety and care of the son of God, Jesus Christ. That's a tough job. But if God can use people like Joseph and Mary, who had very little, to take care of Jesus, imagine what He can do with us if we allow Him to. I know I don't allow Him to use me like I should. I strive daily to be the Christian He wants me to be but, flesh and the Devil can crawl in and tell you "No, He doesn't need all that. He's God. I can do what I want sometimes." 

What's it going to take for you to stand up strong for Him? Our church and church family have faced many struggles. We've had members leave. We've had people talk about us. We've had people verbally attack our Preacher and his family. I'm sure that's not so uncommon as we want to realize or believe. What does it take for us, as a congregation, to say, "Enough is enough. We will not allow you to take away from what God has done here. We will not allow you to bad-mouth and gossip about our Preacher and his family or any other member of this church. We will stand together strong and support each other. We will pray for those who fight against us and for those who need God's love and grace and mercy. We will continue to allow the Lord to bless us and use us and fight against our enemies for us."

Not only do we do this within our own churches, but we should do this within our community and throughout. You can't stay in your little bubble and expect things to change. We can't see the entire picture for our lives, but the Lord knows it. We just have to follow. Do what He wants you to do. 

God Rewards Faithfulness

If you've read my Facebook posts these past few months, you know that I've been job searching. I have a job but wanted to go elsewhere. Something happened in November and I wanted out immediately. I've come to realize it's not that easy when I help support our family and not everyone wants to pay me what I ask/deserve. I definitely ran to God for guidance. I wanted to follow his will for my life. I didn't want my "feelings" making decisions. 

I became somewhat discouraged after 2 interviews and 1 email response that didn't work out. The second interview made making a decision hard. Although, I wasn't offered the job, I was close to it. After the initial interview, I had 2 smaller follow-up interviews via telephone. After much prayer and fighting with myself, I realized that it wasn't the job for me. 1) I couldn't find peace with accepting the job if it were offered to me. As I've been told, God is not a god of confusion. 2) The Director kept asking me the same questions over and over. Was she even listening to me? In turn, was I even listening to God? Lastly, the salary she was offering wasn't even close to other organizations comparable to hers. For the position and my qualifications, it should've paid more. I don't have a Bachelors and a Masters degree for no reason. 

What the Lord told me next was not exactly what I wanted to hear. I have a job; I'm not desperate for one. So I kept searching and still am while keeping a lookout for that one job I'm willing to leave my current job for. I haven't found one yet, not even worth sending my resume to. I can't settle on something that seems right. In the meantime, work has been busy. I took on training a new co-worker and decided to take on new responsibilities. Whether or not I want to be there, I do the job to my best ability. In the end, my integrity is my own. With the workload keeping me busy, there was no idle time for me to sit there and feel sorry for myself or complain about how boring my job was. The Lord knew what I needed. 

Although, I don't understand it, he's kept me at my current job. He wants me to be there longer than I want to be there. There's a reason for it and I know it's to make me a stronger Christian. I'm His child and I should be doing for Him. My work environment is full of many different people with many different personalities, skills and beliefs. I went from an environment surrounded by Christians to this job where it wasn't that. No matter how I felt, I was to act like a Christian should. I can't say I've been perfect but I've done as he's asked. Today, he blessed me. My director decided to give me a bonus that not everyone was getting and it was the first time they've ever given a bonus to someone at my level. I got a lot of compliments on my performance but through all that, all I heard was "Well done!" from the Lord above. It feels good to know that your boss is pleased with you, but when the Lord is pleased, it's something far more. And on a human standpoint, I have a new-found outlook on my boss. I've noticed he's worked hard at righting the wrongs and making improvements. I know he's not a Christian and for me that's even more encouraging-my faith and my God has made a difference in his life whether he knows it or not. I've planted my seed.

I'm a pretty tolerable person and pretty patient. So when I asked God to help me be more patient, I surely had no clue what that meant. It's been tough but I've reached a point of patience that I've never had.

11 Random Facts

So...I don't normally do these kind of things.This one just reminds me of being a teenager and the middle school days. It's probably the equivalent of LMS and give me a number for TBH on Facebook. I don't care for those, of course, since that's what the teens are doing nowadays. Although, I don't have any followers (maybe I need to switch to blogspot), I'm going to do it. I hope you enjoy, Susanna. I will link this to FB, so my FB family can read and get to know me, too. Feel free to respond to my blog with your answers if you don't have a blog.

My 11 Random Facts

1) As much of an organizer and on-time type of person I want to be, I make organized piles in corners and I'm usually late for work. I hate that. Can I blame it on my busy wife-mom-employee-Church member life? Got any tips on how you balance your life? At least I'm still sane...I guess...

2) As a child, I wanted to name my daughter, Molly, after my favorite baby doll. I still have that baby doll and Valerie loves to play with her.

3) I'm not OCD but I come close to planning things out. Many times I overthink and try to plan things that aren't in my ability to control. 

4) I used to love the smell of gasoline as a child. Why? I have no clue. Even now as an adult, the smell of it reminds me of just being a kid, sitting in the back seat while mom/dad pumps gas. I guess, I like to be reminded of the simpler times...when I didn't have to be an adult :)

5) My maiden name...Savatisensei...was not my first last name... When my parents changed our last names from Pathamavong to Savatisensei, the court spelled my middle name wrong and left out a "y". So, not only was my last name changed, so was my middle name. Thank you, South Carolina. 

6) Out of all my grandparents, I only met one of them. I met my paternal grandfather when I was 11. That was the one and only time. He passed the same year my nephew was born in 2008. The rest of them died before I was born. 

7) I've always loved math, while everyone else abhorred it. I could sit and work on math problems all day. Weird? That's ok.

8) I've traveled out of the country 3 times: Canada, Italy & France, and Laos. I haven't been back out of the country since I was 12. I'd love to cruise to Japan one day.

9) I make a "commitment" to exercise more and get into shape multiple times throughout the year. I just can't seem to stick to it. I actually enjoy it but life gets at me and I can't get back on track.

10) I love all forms of art but am not at all artistic. I sing in the choir but don't count on me going solo and selling millions. I'm realistic--God just didn't give me the talent. I can draw simply, but I learned quick in college that I have a proportions problem. My milk jug was always too fat no matter how many times I tried to fix it. I don't play an instrument and I can't stay on beat when I dance.

11) Last but not least--- I've worn glasses since I was about 5 years old. I wear them due to an injury where I poked myself in the eye with a pencil. Warning: Don't jump off a church van with the pencil point sticking up.


11 Questions from Susanna ("Learning to See")

{1} Are you a reader? If so, when did your love for reading begin and with what book? I love to read. I wish I had more time to read an actual book. When I do read, most of the time it's an article. I love for reading began early in elementary school. I don't remember which book but I remember the accelerated reading program and taking the book tests on the computers.

{2} What is your favorite landscape? Sea, mountains, beach, city?  I love the ocean and the mountains. I prefer natural landscape over man-made.

{3} What is your favorite way to travel? Plane, car, bus, boat, train, bike, by foot? I love to travel by plane and see things from way up.

{4} What is your favorite app and why? I'm on FB a lot! I like to stay connected online. I prefer in-person connection, but our lives get so busy it's hard.

{5} What is the one home-cooked meal you turn to when you're under time pressure? That's touch because my husband is a picky eater. Non home-cooked---pizza. But home-cooked I like to bake chicken or pork chops. I'm not big on frying. If I know I'm going to be under time pressure far enough in advance, I like to put beef roast in the crock pot the night before. That way it's ready when I get home the next day. If I'm by myself---I'll create a noodle soup dish. I love pasta.

{6} What is the one thing in your home that must be organized for your sanity? My closet....I'm very anal retentive about it....My shirts are in order by color and by sleeve length. Then my pants by color. My skirts by color and length. On Nate's side....I don't worry too much about the color. I separate collared shirts from button ups.

{7} If you could learn any language what would it be and why?  Vietnamese- I'm part Thai, Laotion, and Vietnamese. Out of the three, I'm half Vietnamese and I speak Laotion. My mom tried to teach me when I was young but she thought it would be confusing to learn 3 different languages at once. My parents communicate in Laotion and mom was still learning Thai (self-taught with the help of my dad) when I was little. Thai is somewhat similar to Laotion, so I can understand some of it, not much but some. Vietnamese is alien to me. I've always wanted to be able to speak it.

{8} What is the one skill you hope to perfect? Hard question....I guess juggling the many things that go on with my life and still be strong, patient and level-headed.

{9} Describe your fashion style in three words {e.g. vintage. neutral. soft}. Emotional, conservative, and colorful

{10} Are you a morning person, night owl, nap enthusiast, or a survivor with alternating routines? Night owl...definitely not a morning person.

{11} Fess up. Are you a Downton Abbey fan. If so, what's your reason for watching? Heard of it, don't know what it's about and never watched it.

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Ok...Now I get to tag 11 bloggers at the bottom, but since I don't know 11 bloggers...if you're reading this, you can do this if you want to and let me know if you do. 
Here are the rules:
{1}  Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.
{2}  Answer the questions the tagger has set for you, then create 11 new questions for the bloggers you pass the award to.
{3}  Choose 11 new bloggers (or with less than 200 followers) to pass the award to and link them in your post.
{4} Go to their page and tell them about the award.
{5}  No tag backs.

Here are my 11 Questions for anyone who wants to do this:
1) If you could be an animal, what would you be and why?
2)What's your favorite place in your home and why?
3)What did you want to be when you grew up? Did it happen?
4)Name a food dish you like that most people wouldn't.
5) What kind of games do you like (video, board, cards...) and which is your favorite one?
6) If you could meet one famous person, who would it be?
7) Many people would think Friday the 13th will be an unlucky day. Is it possible that there is no Friday on 13th through the whole year? How many Fridays at 13th can we have in a year at most? Can you calculate it out or do you even care?
8)If you could be anywhere, right now at this very moment, where would it be?
9) What is your favorite sport and team?
10) Are you right handed or left handed? Do you do certain things with the non-dominant hand?
11) At what age would you like to be able to reach before you die?

God is Good All the Time!

When people say that God is good all the time, they are definitely right. Through the exhaustion, frustration, and hustle and bustle of the past two months, I've been reminded repeatedly of His grace and the blessings that he has bestowed up me. I truly believe that He allows me to face all my situations in order for me to grow. I've never put so much faith in Him until this year.

He is good when I ask for something I probably shouldn't ask for according to many people: patience. Yes, I know. I've heard many times that you don't ask God for patience. You don't know what you're asking for when you ask for that. That is so true. However, I've embraced the challenge and though I've failed many times, I've gotten better at it. Now, I'm naturally very patient. I have a very high tolerance threshold for it. But having a toddler will definitely test your patience. It sure has tested mine. I've failed miserably at it a number of times, but I've always been very successful in finding what works for me when I feel I can't handle it. And when I have failed, my heart breaks afterwards. Failing at patience with a 3 year-old is different than failing at a simple task. Failing at patience with a 3 year-old involves anger and yelling. If you don't feel terrible after that, you're not human. I've never felt so bad when my daughter looked at me so heart broken herself and so disappointed that she couldn't please me enough. Now, when I almost get to the point of "I've had enough", I stop to think about how beautiful and loving she is and how much more happiness she brings into my life than before she came into my life. It's never easy, if anything it's harder. The disobedience and mischievousness is part of her growing up and learning. I have to embrace it and know when to teach her and when to follow her.
Another part of my impatience with her is my own feeling of loneliness. Nobody realizes how hard it is to be a mother and a wife when I feel like I'm doing it alone. It's not my husband's fault. He has a second shift job that pays the bills and puts food on the table. Right now, it's God's will for us to go through this journey. I know it won't be much longer, but we sure would like for Nate to be on first shift ASAP. We've become a stronger Christian couple and a stronger family through this journey. I just pray the journey moves to a first shift journey soon. :) Being a "single" mother is mentally and physically tough. I don't know how all the truly single mothers out there in the world do it, especially without Jesus in their lives. He reminds me that I'm never alone.

He is good at teaching me how to follow Him and doing what he says to do when he says to do it. I've worked hard at decreasing our debt, which is mostly mine due to student loans. However, I need to work harder at it. Through this I've learned that I have much more than I need, materially. Why do I have all this stuff? It may be surprising to many, but I could do without an actual TV. Yes, I said TV. No, I didn't say internet. LOL. I don't need that new car just, yet. Quit being greedy. Eventually, I get that bigger house that I think I need now.
Another part of following the Lord is finding my place in the workplace. In a perfect world where we are perfect citizens and perfect with handling our money, I would not have to work. But that's not the case and many of you moms out there can relate. Reality is I do have to work. That's ok. I don't mind having to work. At this point in my career and my life, I don't mind working as long as it's at the right place for the right reasons.  The Lord taught me how to follow with my previous job. He told me that I had to move on and I didn't when he told me to. So something drastic had to happen. It was devastating but necessary. I can't be complacent and stagnant. I must keep moving forward and use my talents for Him. This job I have now, I asked for. It's not the ideal place but for some reason I felt like it was for me. When I asked, he gave it to me. I initially thought it was going to be a long term situation but His plans did not call for that. They were my plans;I wanted it to be long term. I recently realized, it was just a detour, a realization that this was not the end all be all of jobs. I've longed to be at a place where I can make a difference and the organization I work for makes a positive difference. So, at His command, I followed. I started looking for a new job. It's not just any job; I have to be more thoughtful about what, when and where. I've been at it for about 5 weeks now. Over and over during this short time, He has reminded me that He is control and He will fulfill my desire. I've had one interview that was highly promising but the person who left the position returned. I wasn't absolutely sure about it and I believe it was God's way of telling me it seemed right but it wasn't. I had a positive response to an application but it ended with no interview and the position being "cancelled" (whatever that means). Now I have one interview to take place tomorrow. I won't know for sure if this will be the right place until I interview and get a better feel for the place but I will definitely be listening for His answer. Many aspects of the job feel right, but I can't base it on my feelings. I have to listen to Him and not question His answer. During this time of the year, it's difficult to get a job because many companies are at year-end and are focused on taxes and budgets. So I know that 3 responses with 2 interviews is a big deal. Thank you, Lord.

He's so good because He shows me through the little things how big He is. The spontaneous, unexpected things my child will say or do that reminds me we're doing a great job at being Christian parents. I see His beauty in nature, like the 2 beautiful rainbows I saw in the sky one day. Through deaths and unfortunate happenings of family members and friends, I'm reminded of the unknowns that He protects me from and keeps me safe. Finding $money$ I forgot I had in a jacket pocket, yes, even that reminds me that He knows what I need when I need it. The little things. They are wonderful, because He is wonderful.

God's been so good to me, especially this year. I can't wait for what's in store in 2013. I'm excited to learn and to follow further down the path he has created just for me. I'll never be perfect and I'll stumble even on the right path, but He's always their to pick me up and show me the right way.

Next time you want to complain, think about your many blessings.

12/21/12 Update- So the world is still in tact and my interview went great. I've been unsure until now. God wants me to step out of my comfort zone once again. Don't question the things he's placed in front of me just because I FEEL awkward. There I go "feeling" again. I know it's natural, but He requires faith and that's supernatural.

Who's Your Ultimate Leader?

As people go out and vote today, I'm reminded that no matter who wins, God's my ultimate leader. I know that he is in control of it all, including my own life. All of my decisions, big or small, should be what He wants for my life. In the end, he will fix it all (maybe not in the way some people would want).

This time around I have to wait to vote when I get off work. I know I will go in there making a sound, educated decision because I, for myself, educated myself about all the candidates, not just the top two. I not only educated myself about their stand on each political issue but also have taken into consideration the truth behind it all. Do I believe what they are telling? Do I trust that they won't change their minds once they get into office? Of course, with the past four years, I got to observe Obama and his leadership.I;m also well aware that some are more deceiving than others; that's what a lot of politicians do. I won't tell you who I'm voting because I'm not trying to sway anyone in any direction except that you choose who you think will be the right person for office. As a Christian, I've prayed that God would show me the right direction and I've prayed for our country in general.

The outcome may not be what I would like, but I have more to look forward to than who's going to be my President. I look forward to one day being with the King. He is the best leader anyone could have. He's never steered me the wrong way; however, I've been selfish and steered myself the wrong way.

If you're sitting there and you refuse to vote because you think your voice won't be heard, that's why we're where we are today. You don't have to vote for Romney or Obama. You could vote third party or even write in someone. You may say, "Why? What good would that do?" Imagine if everyone like you went out to vote for a third party candidate. What a statement that would make to our government. That's why I choose to vote. I think we, as Americans, sit back and wait too much. We hope someone else will do it or stand up for it. We have allowed the politicans, special-interest groups, and  activists to act for us and decide for us.

Even if my vote won't really matter to anyone, it matters to me. As a woman, I also choose to vote for all those who fought so hard so I could vote. There are women in other countries who don't get the privilege. I thank God I live in a country where I have so many freedoms. So go...go vote.!

God Provides

I'm not a faithful blogger like most. I do like to use it as a way of getting my thoughts down that shouldn't be a Facebook status update- too long for that. :)

I just want to thank the Lord this afternoon for his provisions. We have more than we need but sometimes still struggle through our daily lives. Personally, it's financially. It's not that we don't have what we need but that our flesh, my flesh, get in the way of what's important.Of course, you can apply that to anything in our lives, not just finances.

I'm the one in the family who is responsible for keeping up with the finances. I'm okay with that job and Nate is definitely okay with it, too. So as I was working through how much is coming in and who's going to get it (it never stays in the bank for too long), He reminded me of the love and blessings he provides. He reminded me of the little things. Even if it's a couple bucks left over, I sure am thankful. Many people are under even after they try their best to cut back. It's the reality of our economy over the past decade. But he still provides and will never let us go without the necessities. If anything, he always provides us with more.

You can't take the material things with you when you die. Those nice, fancy items won't be necessary in Heaven. They definitely don't bring happiness here on Earth. I've thought about our "stuff"- how I could live without the 3 tv's that we have and have none. Yes, I said "none." There's a lot of things we think we can't live without that we could if it came down to it. Sometimes I complain that our house is too small but the three of us manage it and aren't fighting for sitting room and it's not falling apart. It may not be the best, but we're able to pay the mortgage with no problems. I still fight my flesh for things that I WANT, but with Him he reminds me that it's only about NEED. When you have a tight budget, you can't splurge very often. You can keep up with the Jones's because behind the scenes the Jones' may filing bankruptcy.

I hope that you are reminded the next time you want to worry or complain, that God provides ALWAYS. Matthew 6:31-32 says, "Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things." (KJV)

Respect One Another

Over the past several weeks, there's been a lot of talk, bickering, and discussion about homosexuality. First of all, sin is sin, no matter what it is. Of course, there are many opinions and beliefs on the matter. Everyone has that right to do so. I'm not writing to explain to you why I believe what I believe. What's bothered me is all the bullying and name calling on both sides of the spectrum. Two wrongs never make a right.

It's not okay to bully someone because of what they believe. It's not okay to call them names because they don't believe what you believe. For the Christians, whatever happened to "God is love" 1 John 4:16? For the non-Christians, what about the golden rule, "Do unto others as you have them do unto you." Did you know that the Golden rule comes from the Bible? Matthew 7:12. I'm going to talk about this from two sides: Christian and non-Christian.

The Christian. Bullying? Name-calling? Yes, unfortunately, I have seen how Christians bully and name-call people they believe to be non-Christians. It's not so much the physical bullying, although I know of such that has happened and am aware it exists.  It's the "I'm think that's wrong" approach that turns into "Read the Bible, you idot."  Trying to force your belief on someone by telling them over and over, will not work. Shoving your Bible in their face doesn't work, especially if they don't believe what the Bible says. Being mean is also not the answer. It's completely opposite from what God commanded us to do. I read the comments from people about the 4th year anniversary of gay couple, Ellen DeGeneres and Portia. One person said, "ellen hell is waiting on you .gays make me sick .you should have ben a man cause you look like a man." That's plain out mean and hurtful. If I were not a Christian, I wouldn't want to be one based on this statement. First of all even if hell were waiting on her, it's just not something you say to someone. Second, gays make you sick? They are people just like you. What they do may makes you sick. Then this person attacks the way Ellen looks. That's another issue, one that many young people struggle with. Eph 4:15 says to speak in truth with love. That comment was not with love. If it did anything, it just fueled more hate.

We are to love one another. God really is love. He loved us so much he gave up his one and only son (John 3:16). God's love is the ultimate love. We should try to follow that example every day. The more we practice it, the less we have to keep trying. I understand, some people are hard to love, but they are sinners just like you and me.1 John 4:7 says, " Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God; and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God." Matthew 5:43-48 commands us to love our enemies, not hate them. 1 Corinthians 13:4- "Love is patient and kind..." When Jesus was beaten, spat on, and hung on the cross, he did not utter one mean thing. He barely uttered anything but he did say this, "Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots." (Luke 23:24).

In today's society, the World wants tolerance, compromise and acceptance. Just because a multitude say it's okay, doesn't mean it is. We should stand firm in what we believe. If you can't back up your individual beliefs, you need to re-evaluate and search for yourself. Non-Christians demand respect and equal rights but when it comes to Christians, they discriminate. Christians are discriminated against everyday but the many non-Christians tolerate it and look past it. I'll go back to gay marriage as the controversial religious topic. Of course, there are many other topics. A Christian may simply say, "I don't believe it's right." Nothing wrong with that statement. Nothing hateful about it. The non-Christian replies with "You're ignorant and closed-minded." One comment ended, " Put that in your holy roller bible thumping pipe and smoke it." I've seen even worst comments with explicit language that I will not repeat. Just because a Christian's opinion does not agree with what you believe does not make that person ignorant or closed-minded. It also doesn't make them homophobic. If we, as people, don't stand up for something, what will we stand up for? It's okay for gay to have parades declaring their "pride" but not okay for Christians to simply say "that's wrong."?

The extremes definitely don't define the majority of people but this is what we see daily. Let's put it this way, no matter what you agree or disagree with, there's a healthy way to express that. I'll include myself at this point. Obviously, I'm a Christian. I don't agree with homosexuality. I do have a gay friend and several gay family members. I love my friend and my family; however, I choose not to be involved with certain activities or events. I work with several gay people. I don't treat them any differently. I don't look at them any differently. I don't think they deserve to get beat up or discriminated against. They know where I stand and we RESPECT EACH OTHER. There's no bullying or name-calling. I sincerely love them like God wants me to love them. I pray for them and not the "I pray they aren't gay" prayers. I pray not only for salvation but also protection. I don't shove Bible verses at them. I try my best to show God's love as His child. Every now and then I might even invite them to church or a church event. I don't push it. I just let them know they can come if they would like to. Once I stated by stand, that's all there was. No debating, no arguing. I leave it open-ended. If they want to know, they can and will ask. The reverse goes the same, they don't expect me to accept something just because they want me to. In the long run, I would hope they get saved or, if not, they remember is the woman who exhibited what God intended in the Bible. Reality is, many, if not more, non-Christians know the Bible better than Christians. Even if they don't believe what it says, they know what it says and how a Christian should act. 

I hope you find something out of this. It's not in the best format or with the best written ability, but it's my own words in my own way. Just remember, love one another. Respect one another. And in the social world, respond with kindness.

Diane

Not so Random

Don't let the things of this Earth keep you from following the Lord's path for you as an individual and as His child. I know I have veered off the path many times. We all do. We're not perfect. But if I continue to stay rooted in His Word and our His people, I won't veer for long when I do. I'm so thankful for the love, mercy, grace and forgiveness He bestows upon me. I know I don't deserve it.
I've learned that, yes, He's always here for me whenever and wherever. But I believe that He knew we, as humans, need other humans, too. Not only does he provide me with all I need and more, he provides me with people who emphasize who He is as my Father.
Life really isn't about me. It's about Him. I must do better at being His child. There's more to me than just Diane. He created me for a purpose. Maybe this all seems a little random and not so connected but that's in my thoughts tonight. Good night all!

Workout

So I'm on my 4th week of working out, fairly consistent. I'm proud of myself. It's the longest I've stuck to a workout routine on my own. In high school, I got my workout from volleyball. I loved volleyball. I wasn't great at it, but I did enjoy it. My coach was awesome (shout out to Ms. Holland)! Anyway, so since then I haven't done much of anything exercise-wise. About 6 months before I got pregnant, my metabolism started slowing down and everything I ate was getting to me. Once I had Valerie and quit breastfeeding when she was about 9 1/2 months, my metabolism slowed way down. She's 2 1/2 now, and I had to do something about it. I was always "tired" and never felt like doing anything. I even went into a depression. I haven't felt good about my body, either.

People will look at me and say "You're little. What are you worried about?" When you know your body, you know when it's out of control. I may not be as big as everyone else but I felt like it because I was out of shape and not taking care of myself. I also got tired of hearing, "Are you pregnant?" That's where all my fat goes, my belly. So here I am.

 1 Corinthians 6:19 says, "What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?" For me in my walk with Christ, I had to put that in perspective to motivate me. Would I want to present this physical body to Christ? Why would I? I don't even want to present to myself. After 4 weeks, there's not much transformation body wise on the outside. I've lost about an inch in my waist. I'm aiming for 2 more inches and then maintaining. Inside, I feel so much better. After almost 10 years of no constant exercise routine, I can't expect what I want in 4 weeks. I just can't. But I've had progress and that motivates me.


What's my routine? Well, working out at least 30 minutes a day, 6 days a week. I haven't missed more than 2 days in one week and I've had days where I had to shorten it to 15 min. But something is better than nothing. I have learned that evening workout works better for me. I started P90X before near the beginning of the year. It wasn't motivating enough and I did it in the morning which require early mornings. It worked. I lost about 2 inches in 2 weeks but I couldn't stay on top of it. So this time I started doing Hip Hop Abs. It's fun and keeps me interested. I do incorporate some P90X ab exercises. This week I am starting Insanity. This workout is by the same instructor as Hip Hop Abs. I did the fitness test today and the 6 min. Hip Hop Abs. By combining the Hip Hop Abs and Insanity, I'll get what I want in the amount of time I hope for. I don't follow the meal plans step by step but I follow the basics of them- eat small and healthy more often. I'm more thoughtful about what I eat. I'm still working on portion control and self control but I think I'm at a good point when it comes to food. I will follow Insanity's 60 day workout all the way through.


Feel free to give me your tips. Encourage me and keep me accountable. I'll post before and after pictures at the end. I'm too embarrassed to show where I'm at now. It's one thing to look good to other people, it's another when you don't feel and look at yourself that way. I'm comfortable with who I am on the inside but physically is what I struggle with on a daily basis. We all have our faults which makes us far from perfect. That doesn't mean we have to except less than the best for ourselves. My life verse reminds me that I must stay one track and that I can do it. Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." He is my ultimate motivator, trainer, and best of all, friend.

The Farmer's Market

So, today we're getting ready to walk down the street and visit the Farmer's Market for the first time. I love living in a small town where we can walk to stores, restaurants, the park, and the Farmer's Market. However, our plans for our next home will be more out of the city limits away from so much traffic and noise. That's several years away at this point.

Anyways, so I never went to a Farmer's Market until I started the job I'm at now. Spartanburg holds one on Wednesdays from 11-1. Perfect- right around lunch time. The ladies and I like to walk over and sample some great bread (I can't buy this year b/c It's not part of my new food lifestyle). They also do bag lunches. The last time we went, we just took our own lunches, sat in the square and had lunch. It was nice. I fell in love with the Farmer's Market. We'll be going to the first one on June 6th. Join us if you're in the area.

Lyman opened up one this year and it started on on Wednesday. It runs from 3-7 pm. That's nice for those who work and want to stop by get ingredients for supper. We didn't go, so we're going this morning. It runs from 8am-12pm. Nate's not going. He's still in the bed. I'm not sure what time he got off early this morning. When he gets on 1st shift in a couple of months, all three of us will be able to do it.

Several of the ladies at work have started gardens at their home. I think next year I will do it, too. By that time, I hope to be working only part time and I will have more time to save money on food. I love fruits and veggies and a garden would be great.

Anybody got any tips? So now I'm really excited. Valerie and I will stroll down there in a few. I'll update as to what I get. Maybe even take a couple snapshots of what's there.

Life Lessons

I'll admit, I came to communicate my frustrations from this week. Well---I read it through twice and deleted it. Here I am, starting over. lol...Sometimes you need to write/type it all out and then delete it. It really helped.


I thank the Lord for guiding me thus far. I haven't always leaned on him like I should but he's always there when I do. I'm glad that he started teaching me early. I wasn't 4 or 5 when I got saved, but I'm grateful he chose me when he did. He chose me at a time when he knew I needed him the most. I haven't been the perfect child, but he never left me. Eventually, I came to my senses, spelled the roses, the light bulb came on, however you want to say it.


He led me to a great church and church family. Things change. People change. People make changes. That's life. Sometimes it's hard to embrace. Sometimes you know it's best. Other times you know it's not. Then there are those times you're just not sure. He's in control. In the end, the Lord leads my life and my family's life. We will make a change when he tells us to. We can't let the devil convince us otherwise. I'm sure the devil's mad right now.


I'm grateful the Lord is teaching me things while I'm still young. I don't want to be old and learning something I should've learned as a young person. He taught me early into adulthood how to love and forgive. I went through some tough trials to learn Godly love and forgiveness, but I made it through. He helped me through it even when I didn't realize that's what he was doing at the time. He taught me about friendship and loyalty. I learned how to let go of those who weren't true friends. Recently, he's taught me about standing firm for what I believe and learning to let go what hindered me from becoming closer to him. I know these two lessons are not done yet. I'm still young and I still have a lot to learn. I look forward to the lessons, maybe not the situations and trials, but it will be worth it all. I'm always a work in progress for Him. I will continue to make mistakes but I thank God he forgives and teaches me not to make the same mistakes over and over.


I'd like to repeat a FB post I made earlier this week:
Love one another. Encourage one another. Help one another. Pray for one another. 
Don't criticize or judge without knowing the fullness of the truth. Don't stab someone with mean words. 
Be kind. Be gentle. Be considerate. Be positive.


Have a great weekend!

Stop Hating! Find your Place.

There's been a lot of drama in and out of church. People can say what they want to say but drama is part of today's world, whether it's at home, school, work, or church. It's everywhere. I can't stand it. No matter where you go, it's there. It's up to each individual person to decide how they will react or not act to it.

My prayers go out to those who intentionally aim to hurt others. I don't like to get in anyone's business but social networks makes it easy for you to just know. WWJD? Yes, I asked it. Well??? What did he do when he was spat on, had a crown of thorns put on his head, nailed to the cross, laughed at him and mocked? He performed the ultimate example of "turning the other cheek." He said nothing (Mark 15:5).

I will stand behind my Lord and Savior. I will stand behind my Preacher and his family. I will stand behind my church. Ever heard of a bad apple in the bunch? Well we have some of those. There are some in every bunch. They can say what they want to say to me or about me. It won't change where I go to church or how I feel about who's leading me and teaching me. It won't change who God is. He was, is and always will be the same. However, people, on the other hand, won't. People change, for good and for bad. People make mistakes. We are all sinners. No one is higher than the Almighty.

I'm much the observer, hardly ever the speaker. But this fires me up how people act. How do we expect to win souls for Christ when we can't even get along? Because I'm an observer in every way, there's much that I know that people may not think I know. I choose not to say anything. It's not my right to spread gossip, true or not. Don't get me wrong. There's standing up for what I believe in and the people I love. I will do it all day, everyday, if need be. Then, there's bad mouthing and words full of ignorance and foolishness. I've done it. We've all done it at some point or another. But all day, everyday of that is poison to self and to others.

We are all different. We are different colors. We have different personalities. We come from different backgrounds. We like and dislike different things. We handle situations differently. If you want to get right down to it, we pee differently. You heard me. WE PRAISE GOD IN OUR OWN WAYS! Whether you think one person or another is genuine or not, it's not up to you. It's between that person and God. God knows what's genuine. God knows what comes from the heart. There's no one church that's right for everyone. But Heaven will be the place for all those who truly believe.

Love or leave it. I don't care. I had to get my 2 cents in after hearing and reading about it all. Good night and sweet dreams.

Matthew 5:11 says, "Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake."

Also check out: Matthew 7: 21-23; James 1:26; Isaiah 29:13

It Really Does Take a Village

Valerie is officially potty trained. After Donna's advice, it took 2 days and 1 accident. I'm not saying the bubbles idea is for every child, but it sure worked for mine.

I've been thinking about the saying "It takes a village to raise a child." It really does take a village. However, that doesn't mean "leave your child with the village for raising." I know people like that. As a mother, I just can't imagine not actually parenting my own child. She spends a lot of time with grandparents, who are very helpful, but her daddy and I are the parents. Sometimes, the little journeys of this big journey of life can get frustrating, stressful and tiring but they can also be rewarding, joyful and exciting. I did have that one spout during potty training when I had a stressful day but in the end it was well worth the effort. Considering it only took us a total of 5 days, I can't complain. God has truly blessed us with such a wonderful child and great support from our fellow "villagers." Even potty training required the whole village. If it weren't for all the advice, it might have taken longer and been more frustrating. Sometimes Google won't do the trick. lol

"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward" Psalms 127:3

Potty Training- Day 5 (1/18/12)

Today has been a good day of potty training. Thanks to Donna for the advice. Our first trip after waking up resulted in nothing. Not long after while I'm checking my email, I hear pee hitting the floor. Oops #1 for the day. Clean up time.

Donna, mother and grandmother, gave me some advice that made bathroom trips successful. Pee pee makes bubbles in the toilet. So for the second bathroom trip- we sit and we wait to listen for the pee pee. It was partially successful. Valerie was so interested in the bubbles idea, she would be quite and stick her ear towards mine to see if she could hear the pee. No pee but that's ok.

Trip #3 did the trick. Valerie was so excited, grinning from ear to ear. "Mommy, pee pee made bubbles!" She even wanted to wipe herself, however, she couldn't quite reach. Her treat? She got to flush the toilet and a Nemo sticker. The Nemo sticker wouldn't stick well, so we got another one to replace it. This time it was Minnie Mouse.

The next trip was also successful. She said she didn't have to pee. So we went to try anyway. Voila!

Potty Training- Days 3 & 4 (1/16/12-1/17/12)

Day 3-There's not much to this day. Valerie spent the day with her daddy while mommy had to work. She sat on the potty and tried but nothing. She would even tell him she needed to use it.

Day 4- Valerie stayed home half the day with daddy and the other will her Papa. Therefore, she was in a pull-up all day with trips to the bathroom. Two unsuccessful incidents and many trips just sitting on the toilet. The thunderstorm didn't help the evening trips either. I can't tell if she's pee shy or just doesn't realize the feeling of needing to pee. It's probably the latter, but, just in case, I walked off to give her some privacy. She immediately jumped on the toilet and ran. The thunder scared her. This last trip got me upset. I had to recoup and tell myself, "She's trying and not peeing on the floor on purpose." We had just gone to sit on the toilet and the next second she's peeing on the living room floor. Gotta love 'em! I had to apologize to Valerie for getting upset at her and explained in a calm manner that she needs to pee pee on the potty and not on the floor. Pee pee on the floor makes it dirty.

Before I left the parking garage after work, I was already in a tizzy. Regretfully, I aimed my stress and frustration at my 2 year old. It didn't help when she was being whiny while we were in the grocery store. Then she needed help with this and that once we got home while I was trying to cook. In the end, she's just a child who's still learning some of her boundaries. I wouldn't trade her for the world. Potty training is just one small step in her life. It's the not a crisis. Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

Tomorrow will be another day. I get to stay home with her this time. Long story short, I have no baby sitter. It was too late notice for my substitute babysitters. My babysitter (mother-in-law) for the day is caring for her very sick mother-in-law who's been in the hospital since yesterday. Hopefully, the docs will figure it out and Nana can get some help.

Potty Training- Day 2 (1/15/12)

Day 2 of potty training was not so dedicated but we tried. Much of our day was spent at church. That's a typical Sunday for us. Valerie was in a pull up all day. I don't think that helped but she did try several times. I had nursery duty, so I thought it would be helpful.

The first potty trip was at home before left. She sat but nothing. The second trip was in the nursery. She wanted a cookie but I told her she had to try to peepee first. She did try but nothing. We tried another time before church was over and still nothing.

I think it was helpful and also a little discouraging when two of the younger children in the nursery were being potty trained and doing better than Valerie. However, I hear that boys are easier to potty train than girls. Their equipment makes for easier potty training. I'm dedicated and she will get it in her own time. I can't force it or she won't even want to use the potty.

Besides the obvious "patience", this part of the journey requires a lot of dedication for both mommy and child. I can't get lazy and give up and just wait for her to use it when she's 5. lol... In all seriousness, it makes me think of dedication in my spiritual life. Am I as dedicated as I can be to the Lord? Am I putting forth as much effort in my relationship with Him as I am with this potty training. Shamefully, the answer is no. Who would've thought potty training would bring conviction? The Lord knows funny. :)

Potty Training- Day 1 (1/14/12)

It's been a very long time since I've blogged. There's a special reason as to why I'm blogging today. I'll need the good Lord to give me some patience for however long this part of my journey will take. Some may think it's silly to pray for things that may seem trivial but to me it's not.

Matthew 7:11 says, "If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!" Christians or not, we want the best for our children. God is the same way. We are his children and if we ask, we will receive. Of course, there are two things to remember: (1) It's not everything you ask for, but the things of good and for good and within His will for you, and (2) we will receive it in His time, not ours. That's where the patience needs to kick in.

So, this part of the journey of being a mommy has begun. Today started Valerie's potty training. Can we say much needed "patience"? Who wants to clean up pee and poop off the floor? But that's the job of a mommy. Valerie is will learn that the potty will be her friend. From advice of many friends and family, I've decided to use the no diaper, only underwear method. Of course, we will have to use the diapers during nap time and bedtime. My reinforcements are stickers, the privilege of flushing the toilet, and the realization that panties get dirty and wet when you don't use the bathroom on the potty. We'll see how this journey goes and how long it takes. I will keep you updated.


1st incident-
I tried the expensive waterproof underwear on. I covered her Tinkerbell saucer chair with a bath towel. After about 10 minutes, she peed in the underwear. Her 2-year old realization? The towel wasn't wet, even though she had peed in her underwear. So we remove the underwear to be washed and I put her in regular underwear.

For the next couple hours, I continue to ask her if she needs to potty. I give her breakfast (cereal and milk), her vitamin, and milk. When the milk is gone, I give her water.

Valerie then tells me she needs to poo poo. We sit and nothing. I explain to her that if she needs to poo poo, she needs to do in the potty or her underwear will get dirty. Then I encourage her by showing her the stickers and telling her that she only gets it if she uses the potty not just for sitting on it. I get the "Ok, mommy." So I watch her as she plays to stay on top of the training and try to prevent accidents.

2nd Incident and 2 pairs of underwear later -
I move the potty from the living room to the game room where she's "cooking" at her new kitchen she got for Christmas. I notice that expression she gets when it's poo poo time. I remind her about using the potty.

As I'm on the laptop in the same room, I see out of the corner of my eye, a little 2 year old opening up her potty. She proceeds to sit and, literally, 2 seconds later, "Mommy, I poo poo." I clap and congratulate her. She notifies daddy who also claps and congratulates. Of course, it was the usual "Great job, baby. Good girl!" I clean her up.(Side note- I've read that "Good girl" is not good to use. It may make her think she's bad if she doesn't do it in the potty. But it's natural to say it and I don't think she's having any confusion.) I give her 2 stickers. We go to the big potty and we flush.

3rd Incident-
About 5 minutes later, Valerie ends up peeing on the living room floor. I tell her she needs to use the potty and that mommy will clean up the mess. Obviously, she wasn't completely finished from the 2nd incident. Remember "two steps forward, one step back"? I think we're now at "one step forward, two steps back." I'm sure that's normal in the beginning. I clean up the mess with no negative attitude, which instantly, put my thoughts back to "patience." Thank God for patience! I'm sure this will not be the last mess I will have to clean up.

4th Incident and 3 pairs of underwear later:
Daddy asks Valerie if she needs to potty. She insists that she doesn't. Then she comes running out of her bedroom saying, "I'm wet!" Another mess on the floor.

So we put her in a pull-up in order to go out to eat. We try to get her to potty before bedtime. I guess 1 successful potty trip is better than none. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

God is Good All the Time

I didn't know where the Lord was going to take me on my career path but I left it in His hands. I'm so glad I did. Even my own husband may not understand why He sent me here, but I know that God did it all. I just started my 4th week here and I'm loving it. My stress is down. I don't feel so overwhelmed. I'm still busy but I can handle it a lot better. Without Him, I would not be here.

After leaving the Boys & Girls Clubs, I was a little lost. I was unsure of what I needed to do. Then, I decided to just take it like it was. I enjoyed my time with Valerie. [She's growing up so fast.] I looked for work and went on several interviews. I interviewed for this job and loved it. It was the only one I was sure of. At that moment, I told the Lord, "If it be your will, I really want this job. If not, then I will stay home with Valerie." It wasn't that I was going to give up if I didn't have this job. I felt that if it wasn't what he wanted for me after I had such a strong desire for it, then I needed to relax and enjoy life at home. I left it up to Him.

So...of course, I got the job. The Lord knew I needed it. He knows what my intentions are. In the long run, I do hope to work part-time in the future so I can spend more time with Valerie and any other children we may have. I'll have time to go to school functions and after school curricular activities. That's when I want to be able to devote my time to my children. Also, I can eliminited as much debt as possible so when I do go part-time, we aren't in financial strain.

The Lord worked it out for me and for my family. I couldn't ask for more. Through this little part of my journey, I learned to lean on him and trust him more. I learned about patience and listening. I've learned a lot and still have a long way to go. I look forward to what's next.

Right now, I'm annoyed. I'm annoyed because someone told me "I don't feel good." I know that it's a lie in the sense of "I'm sick." It's more like "I'm depressed and I don't want to do it." Just say it. Be truthful to yourself and to others. Don't try to deceive and lie to us.

If you need help, ask for it. I've learned this myself the past couple of months. I empathize with this person. My point is not to beat down on this person. My annoyance is my own problem. I'm just easily annoyed. lol. But this is an announcement to everyone else. If you need help, ask for it.

The best person to ask is God. If you have him in your life, talk to him. He's definitely be there for me. Then, seek help from others who He has given to support you. Philippians 3;13 says "Brethen, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before." For me, it says "Forget about what has happened. Move on. Reach for those things that ahead of you." So what do you do with the things of now? You embrace it. Take hold of it. Be grateful for it. Utilize it. Yes, those things in the past happened but what are you going to take from them to make your present and your future  more meaningful. Sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself isn't the answer. Fight for your life!

The Grieving Process

Life has been tough lately. I haven't blogged in a long while. Life gets busy and some things don't seem as important as others. But I have found that writing or blogging is a great way to express myself. I have also found it as a way to connect with others...

All of a sudden, my life, my family's life has taken a turn in a different direction. For the past couple of months, I've prayed for guidance for my own life. It didn't take long for the Lord to tell me it was time to make a job change. It's a scary thought to just quit my job with nothing else in line but that's what he wanted me to do. Bottom line: I didn't listen and in the end, he took it away from me. I've been so independent and He wants to me to be more dependent on Him.

What have I learned from all of this? It's okay for me to grieve the lost of my job and my ability to financially support my family. It's part of the process to get where I need to go. I'm reminded of a devotion that someone sent to me. It talked about how people don't just grieve the loss of loved ones. People should and need to grieve the loss of a job, an ability, connection, and whatever else we lose or have to let go throughout our lives.

I know that once I get past this, there is something better at the end of this street along my journey's path. It will take some time, some tears, and some pick me ups. The smile and laughs of my daughter definitely make the days easier. I know that the Lord will take care of us. He always has and always will. We've done without less and never suffered. We'll make it through this bump in the road. With His strength and His guidance, I'll find my way to a different job along my career path. A dear friend told me, "God never makes mistakes." I believe it and am so grateful for it.