Journey to normal, again

Instead of writing a letter to God, I've decided to just write to whoever wants to read. I can talk and pray to God whenever and wherever. This blog is for me and for anyone who gets any help or encouragement out of it. This is part of my therapy back to feeling normal, again, normal for me.

In the past 6 months I've gone through a lot of life changes. This time, I wasn't able to ignore the stress or frustration. It caught up to me and flew by me. I felt like I couldn't keep up with how fast life was moving. It was like I was on the outside watching myself just moving along. It wasn't until a month or so ago that I realized how it was affecting my life: work and home. I have been experiencing stress, frustration, loneliness, depression; pretty much a lot of emotions all at the same time. I needed help that I wasn't getting.

As a Christian, I'm not naive. I pray, go to church, listen to sermons, do daily devotions, and whatever else devoted Christians do. But I wasn't getting what I needed. The Lord has done so much for me in my life but I needed help from a human. It reminds me of the illustration about the man who was stranded on the island. He believed and had faith that the Lord would get him off the island. So God sent a plane, a boat, and something else (I can't remember). The man refused all three. He asked "Lord, why didn't you save me." The Lord answered, " I tried. You refused all three times I tried." Moral: Don't expect things to happen out of thin air. You ask God for help. You gotta take action on your part, too. Yes, God performs miracles but don't expect it every time you have a problem. So, in my case, I've sought help from professionals.

This is just the start of my journey back to being me, again. It was hard at first. I've always been the one to help others. I've always been able to keep my own emotions under control. This time I couldn't. So much had happened. My job got busier. My baby turned into a busy body 1 year old. My husband was on third shift. I became sick about once a month when before I wasn't hardly sick at all. Then, one of the worst of all things happened. My cousin committed suicide. We weren't extremely close but close enough that his death was the first death I'd experience of someone so close to me.

Through all this, God continues to be so good. Without Him, I probably would've gone into deep depression, not having anything to do with anybody. He's brought so many godly people into my life. I'm so grateful. He helped me start this journey. I'll make sure He is who leads me.